Numb. 1361 A Teaser For A Survival Sit Calm

PROMO

Fat Donald stars

as Big Brother

in an Orwellian

wish-it-weren't-true fantasy

Rupert Merde-Dock 

costars as Mary Shelley. 

SCREEN BLURB AT RISE

Government of, by, and for billionaires

with everyone else kicked down spiral stairs.

(And for tax reasons, despite divorce, 

she gets interred on Jersey golf course.)

VOICEOVER

Can conned servitors fail to assail

Fat Man/Big Brother’s freeing of jailed

violent offenders? Will his next trick be

renaming D.C. District of Dixie?

END CREDITS QUESTION

Can country — or mankind! — survive

if no one remembers we’re in this together,

that nobody, ever, gets out alive?

Numb. 1181 Conservative Run-ons On Soccer (A Pre-emptive Petition Presuming Transition)

Why can’t we Conservatives talk, at all, of the obvious pitfalls of soccer? More, every day, OUR children comport in this foreign sport, a mockery of football and U.S. democracy. While at the same time, in far-away climes, aliens mock us, purporting OUR football's boring, monotonous. With imported soccer increasingly popular, OUR society's falling apart: LGBTQIA+ highlights setting their sights on ungodly claim to their share of OUR equal rights; childless cat ladies sharpen their claws, preparing to fight us (down on all fours?); abortion proponents' distorted components — “ballot initiatives” — forestalling just laws forcing women to do what we say OUR God requires them to. Such things never happened before soccer was popular. OUR only demand? That soccer be banned. Once this foreign product is off of OUR shelves, we'll get all upset about something else.