Numb. 1673 Weigh To Went

Numb. 1669 Fires In The Environs

Numb. 1647 Next

Numb. 1322 New IMPROVED Pledge

Face Mar-a-Largo, kowtow, recite at prescribed hours.

I pledge allegiance

to the best ever president,

Donald J. Trump,

great American,

and to the corruption

for which he stands.

Our Empire invisible,

forever invincible,

with Liberty and Justice

just for people just like us.

(World, it may soon end. Almond.)

This just in: White House Reaction to Westminster Dog Show:

Who is this “Monty”? I gotta know

how come I am not “Best In Show”?

My coat is better. As is my physique.

I am more German. Say, “Bark!”, I speak.

Whatever the contest, I am THE BEST.

What you mean, Mealanie? “Give it a rest?”

I always win. As I know you've been told.

Why just last Sunday, I won Super Bowl.

Numb. 1295 Trump's Disaster Doctrine

President Donald Trump this week said he wants to reshape the Federal Emergency Management Agency as the U.S. faces the daunting task of rebuilding after storm damage in the Southeast and devastating wildfires in California. — AP

America really has no need FEMA,

jobs for waste-of-space Lib-er-al dreamers,

handing out cash to “disaster survivors” — 

lazy, layabout, crooks and connivers, 

too low IQ to wipe their own asses.

Just an excuse for raising our taxes.

God can provide if they need anything,

charities deal with weeping and whaling.

Meantime, my people, prepare guacamole

for NFL finals and Super Bowl.

Numb. 1140 A MAGA Man's Limit

Darn Old will win the World Series,

tho' he will never play ball.

He, after all, won the Cup Stanley.

At least. I believe. I recall.

Then there was the Bowl Super.

The Derby. And Indianapolis.

He’s NBA Champ. The little scamp

is absolutely fantabulous.

If Kamala wins, if vote is corrupt,

he’ll huff and puff and blow us all up.

I have in life but one ambition

after November's successful sedition:

to sit at attention there by his locker.

(Unless, of course, he wants to talk soccer.)