Numb. 1622 Die, Die, DEI, Die (or Thank You, Fidel)

— The Guardian

Calibri discarded.

Hail (ugh!) Times Roman.
Vowel-ending names
are also too foreign.
(Which, as you know,
ours simply aren't.)

One pure ethnicity.
Aye, there's the nub.
Trumpet our leader.

(signed) Mark O. Rubb.