TROMPE REBRANDS DAYS OF THE WEAK
By The Disocciated Pressed
WASHING HANDS, Tro. 8 — Presentdent Donald J. Trompe today, noting that days of
the week are named for pagan gods (Thursday for Thor) and more alarmingly goddesses
(Friday for Frigg) or heavenly bodies representing even older deities (sun and moon for
Sunday and Monday), decreed that they be changed on his "new, official, improved, per-
fect" Trompean Calendar.
Effective effective immediately, days will be called:
Monday - Onedi
Tuesday - Twodi
Wednesday - 3D
Thursday - Fordi
Friday - Fidi
Saturday - Pardi
Sunday - Don-T
"Patronize, women, man, fiddle, tea, he," he added shyly smiling as is his wont.
