Numb. 1488 Department Of Ignorance

CLIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES (7/30/2025)

GOOGLE AI Overview (edited)

[P]arody newspaper article 

• uses exaggerated and offensive language to satirize ideas promoting racial segregation and discriminatory practices in education under the guise of "school choice"

• parodies real news headlines by adopting a style similar to The New York Times

• highlights controversial and racially charged claims, including the banning of white female cheerleaders, the idea of "bussing causes air pollution" as an argument against desegregation, and suggesting specific manual labor roles for "Unathletic Non-Whites"

Numb. 1144 NFL Sunday

It’s high time, NFL. Ya gotta think big.

Rebrand yourself White Football League.

To hell with Mahomes throw him off the bus.

Grow some cojones. Listen to us.

We love concussions. More violence, more sport.

But we're partic’lar ’bout with whom we comport.

We wee, skinny white boys cannot compete

with them bigger [redacted] — we’re too effete.

However much THEY may complain,

the darker their skin the less they feel pain.

What Founders thought they were creating

had nothing to do with desegregating.

Our Fathers foresaw an Aryan game.

What it’s become is a damned fucking shame.

(To you, rich team owners, who pick up the tabs,

think of your savings without the “McNabbs".)

Reclaim our game, return to our roots.

Us good ol' white boys ain’t no substitutes.