Numb. 1597 GOP Direction

   HEAR-AND-NOW, Nov. 15 — In today’s THE WALL STREET JOURNAL their Ed. Bored laments lack of GOP direction now that our government’s back in inaction. The BYSTANDER, as always wishing to be helpful, offered, off the top of his head, the following few (Ayn?) Rand-doom suggestions. (Since original posting to THE WALL STREET JOURNAL, list has been lightly revised.)

Plenty of things on GOP agenda yet to accomplish.

1. Repeal 20th century.
2. Repeal latter half of the 19th.
3. Outlaw labor unions.
4. Return baseball to 1903.
5. Return election of U.S. Senate to state legislatures.
6. Equate Democrat [ick] Party with Communism and ban it.
7. Amend Constitution to make U.S. Christian nation.
8. Repeal voting rights legislation.
9. Outlaw integration. (Except for sports.)
10. Adopt Ayn Rand's Constitution correction.
11. Make U.S. a condominium where unequal men vote shares based on wealth.
12. Repeal women's suffrage.
13. Strip American Indians of citizenship.
14. Cancel Labor and MLK holidays.
15. Impeach Earl Warren.
16. Restrict immigration to Christians of European heritage, with a preference for blue-eyes and blond hair.
17. Bring back Prohibition.
18. Impeach Earl Warren again just to be sure.
19. Forbid mention of Darwin.
20. Ban ALL use, including religious, of any language other than English. (And programming languages other than COBOL.)
21. Get rid of business interferences: anti-trust, consumer protection, clean air and water, environment, zoning, drug testing, food inspection, etc.

And that's just for starters.

So much to do, dear GOP-ers.

Did I mention impeaching Earl Warren?

Numb. 1488 Department Of Ignorance

CLIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES (7/30/2025)

GOOGLE AI Overview (edited)

[P]arody newspaper article 

• uses exaggerated and offensive language to satirize ideas promoting racial segregation and discriminatory practices in education under the guise of "school choice"

• parodies real news headlines by adopting a style similar to The New York Times

• highlights controversial and racially charged claims, including the banning of white female cheerleaders, the idea of "bussing causes air pollution" as an argument against desegregation, and suggesting specific manual labor roles for "Unathletic Non-Whites"

Numb. 1400

CLIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES (5/1/2025)