Numb. 1744 Globmaster

Numb. 1634 Another Slow News Day (just off the teletype)

Click if you missed our coverage of Trompe-Class battleships TWO MONTHS AGO.

Numb. 1492 Global Strangedy Plus "Donnie" The Rock Opera Excerpt (or WHO's Sorry Now)

CLIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES (8/3/2025)

GOOGLE AI Overview (edited)

"The Now Dark Times," a publication that mimics the name of "The New York Times" but functions as a platform for humorous and often absurd commentary on current events

• exaggerated and unlikely scenarios (moving nuclear submarines with full disclosure) to lampoon political actions and rhetoric

• "Sends Map To Show Vlad Where They Are Along With Crew Email Addresses, Technical Specs" and calling it "'CONFIDENCE BUILDING'" adds a layer of absurdity, highlighting the perceived lack of strategic sense or diplomatic nuance

• Dunning-Kruger Effect
  a cognitive bias where people with low ability overestimate their competence

• Connection to "America's Last Line of Defense": Publications like "The Now Dark Times," including "The Dunning-Kruger Times," are part of a network of satirical websites known for creating intentionally fake news stories to satirize political narratives

Donald Trump

'Dodgy looking' clip of Trump playing golf in Scotland sparks cheating debate

Video appears to show aide dropping ball in favourable position, as golf fans say it is a bad look for the sport - Guardian

Ever since he was young boy, 

he had the biggest balls

From pre-school to Wharton

he made the records fall

“You are meant for greater things"

he wrote on his wall

That SAD, dumb, rotund kid

sure plays a mean golf ball

He burbles, a polluted brook,

spewing lies obscene

Addicted to his Diet Coke,

he's nasty and he's mean

He says the sweetest victory

is seeing others fall

That SAD, dumb, rotund kid

sure plays a mean golf ball

He's a golf ball wizard

who can not be dismissed

A golf ball wizard but

with a bent-back wrist

How the Eff does he do it,

this Queens-born third-rate hood

He ain't got no ethics,

he don't got no qualms

if he see you vulne'ble

it is his call to arms

He sues when he loses

until he gets it all

That SAD, dumb, rotund kid

sure plays a mean golf ball

He knows he's the King from Queens

WHO can say they do not love him

Benihana Yahoo, 

Bows 'n' Arrows, Xi, and Kim,

(who he'll confess he envies),

Turkish guy, and Vlad Putin,

pals he wants around

while he destroys us all

That SAD, dumb, rotund kid

sure plays a mean golf ball

Numb. 1491 Brainman

CLIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES (8/2/2025)

GOOGLE AI Overview (edited)

• satirizes a prominent political figure, "Trompe," by suggesting his mind is devoid of truth and understanding

• describes the inner workings of the figure's mind, painting a picture of insecurity and immaturity

Numb. 1243 Trump Doctrine

Where’er I see an empty expanse,

I think, “I can fix it, of course.”

Whether near water, or under sand,

I picture oil rigs. Or a golf course.

Some say land has better uses —

“nat-ur-al hab-i-tat” crap.

So very SAD. Losers excuses.

“Saving the planet.” Who gives a rap?

Bigly hotels, casinos, resorts,

slathered in “gold" to cover the warts.

I grab. I take. I make stuff useful.

TRUMP out in front makes all things beautiful.

Numb. 1187 Shower Room Putter Sniper

Less than 24 hours after Donald Trump went on a bizarre rant about golf legend Arnold Palmer, the athlete’s oldest daughter dismissed the former president’s vulgar comments about the size of her father’s penis.

“I thought it was an unfortunate way to remember my dad,” Peggy Palmer told The Independent. — The Independent

Darn Old and Arnold's

personal putter

Darn Old’s astonishment

absolute utter

he’d ne’er seen a club

of  such size

and he saw plenty of

Cohn’s pretty guys 

who when young

he hung with for fun

faking/making

his hole-in-one

before growing

his ginormous gut

what you call

making a put

Numb. 1170 Darn Old Remembers

Donald J. Trump suggested in a radio interview on Monday that he had visited war-torn Gaza in the past, a place there is no record of him visiting. When asked to clarify, a campaign aide said that Gaza is “in Israel” and that Mr. Trump has visited Israel. — The New York Times

(sung to the tune of “On The Street Where You Live")

To Gaza I have been before.

Played the course. 

I guess it was before the war.

I had loads of fun.

Eighteen holes-in-one.

Now they say my great mind’s like a sieve.

I can feel the breeze 

in that Gaza town.

I recall I heard dogs bark

each time I played a round.

My golf ball soars

soon as I yell “Fore”.

Now they say my great mind’s like a sieve.

And their empowering feeling

just because they knew I was near.

The applause, the waving, the cheering

as I shift my golf cart to passing gear.

It is so unfair. It still bothers me.

The mem’ry of my trip is such a part of me.

Let the facts deny. It is not a lie.

Just that my great big mind's like a sieve.