Numb. 1509 Trompe Fixes Voting

CLIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES

Numb. 1479 For The Epsteinth Time

CLIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES (7/21/2025)

GOOGLE AI Overview (edited for length)

[H]eadline … [is] likely a satirical take on:

• Donald Trump's alleged connections to Jeffrey Epstein and the Epstein sex trafficking ring … [suggesting] a scenario where the Republican party … acknowledges his potential awareness of Epstein's activities.

• Political maneuvering and public perception. The phrase about "Trompe" being a "Dem" at the time before becoming a "Reborn Republican" satirizes the shifting political alignments and the attempts to reframe past associations. 

• Ghislaine Maxwell's role in the Epstein case. The mention of "Maxwell Calls Letter 'Big Fake', Receives A Backdated Pardon Plus A UGE Undisclosed Sum" alludes to Ghislaine Maxwell, Epstein's associate, and sarcastically suggests a corrupt outcome related to her legal situation, implying a potential cover-up or unfair advantage.

Numb. 1467 Gladiator Battles

CLIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES (7/8/2025)

Numb. 1377  

CLIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES (4/8/2025)

Numb. 1337 A Road Foresaken? (plus clipped from the headlines 02/28/2025)

Mexico Begins to Release Dozens of Cartel Operatives Into U.S. Custody — New York Times

 

WHY does U.S., now under TRUMP,

persecute entrepreneurs?

Paragons of CAPITALism,

Ayn Rand-types, the right-wing adores?

Guys who supply, fulfill our demand

to get and stay high. “Invisible hand

of the marketplace”? Get it?

Cripes, I can’t type 

how often you’ve said it!

“DO NOT INTERFERE!

LET MARKETPLACE RULE!”

You're acting like Democrats. (“Cato, you fool!")

And don’t even mention drug-use prevention.

Holy unjustified BIG STATE intervention!

Damn it to hell! These guys are swell!

Merely a newborn BIG PHARMA cartel.

Let them incorporate, let 'em go public.

Offer stock options. Like true Republicans.

 

 clipped from the headlines

Numb. 1315 Tomorrow's Headlines Today; Clipped From The Headlines 02/06/2025

Numb. 1310 O! Bleak (and old-Time[s]y headlines)

Okay, The BYSTANDER. is pessimistic.

That said, whatever Trump's nihilistic,

malicious intentions; his narcissistic,

sadistic endeavors fascistic;

his increasingly blatant, illegal behavior,

his gullibles still insist he’s their savior

and will become extremely indignant

if anyone ever dare says, “He's malignant."

Would it be pedantic to call this fantastic?...

Wait. This just in. He's renamed the Atlantic.

A country heretofore, “not of men, but of laws”,

forevermore TRUMPed, I pronounce a lost cause. 

Old-Time[s]y Headlines

 

Numb. 1241 Donnie's Xmas List (batteries not included)

As Donald prepares to take TOTAL power,

he still thinks of others while in the shower.

He slathers soft soap on his beautiful body —

after, of course, he has gone potty.

Given his fear of serious germs,

he starts every day on the cleanest of terms,

brushes his teeth, shampoos his hair,

shaving his face — the fairest of fair.

For instance, this morning

he thought — stretching, yawning —

“What Christmas gift

would heal a rift

should my proposals

cause those less loyal

to turn up their noses?”

His brain, big and brilliant,

his hair somewhat damp,

birthed at that instant:

“A RUBBER STAMP!”

“One for each delegation in Congress,

another for each of the courts.

Republicans only.

Let Dems be jaundiced.

I won fair and square.

They’re rotten sports.

Yes, it’s expensive,

but it won’t be that bad.

I will command,

‘Bring your ink pad!'"

Numb. 1239 Press Release

 EMBARGOED UNTIL JANUARY 20, 2025
(after swearing at in)
———————————————

Since Dems can never again be elected,

TIME to repeal the twenty-second amendment?

OR BETTER YET —

Given cost, bother, and imperfections

of holding never-ending elections,

Some people say — may I say I agree? —

TIME to return to monarchy.

Last president = first Emperor

(Then Melanie cannot tell me I “bother" her.)

Caesar was God, way back in Rome.

My TIME has arrived so I'll raise Roy Cohn.)

Numb. 1237 Eine Kleine Nacht Hysterisch — update

Drones over New Jersey?

Alien beings searching for Donald who can't take the tacky of Moral-Logal. With intergalactic warrants outstanding, they clap him in ions soon after landing, beaming him up to some far away star, to some planet where he’s unknown. (If there is such in the universe.) He's not allowed to phone home! US Space Force can't use THE KRAKEN. (A weapon of Donald’s devising.) Old, Slow Joe Biden cancelled the program. Unhappy example of Space Force downsizing. Socialist Dems and Little Green Men seize all our guns and munitions. Little Green Men and Socialist Dems refuse to acknowledge the second amendment. LOOK OUT! Here they come! Distract them. I’ll run. I do not expect they’ve set phasers on stun.

Numb. 1230 Trump II Day I

Presidential Decree #I

January 20, 2025

Rules, regulations,

laws signed by Biden

I declare null and void.

Judges appointed

are dis-appointed.

Requisite force

will be deployed.

Saving our nation:

Slow Joe's usurpation

has, today, come to an end.

Those who supported it

I order deported.

As they say in UK,

“There, now I sorted it.”

Pardons make sense

for Jan 6 “offenders".

Arrests commence:

Dems, Cheney, Pence.

(PLUS any who,

I say, betrayed me

or in some way,

I think, disobeyed me.)

Marshall law

will be enforced

by pillow guy

Mike Lindell’s posse.

Terrific pillows.

He likes me a lot!

And HE does NOT

call me a NAZI.

Cabinet shapes up —

fabulists, rapists,

entirely fact-free.

In fact, like me.

Project two-oh-two-five.

So much to undo.

What to include

in Decree #II?

Disbanding Congress?

Closing the courts?

Include Pussy Grabbing

among Bigly sports?

Appoint Tucker Carlson —

for obvious reasons —

to head up my new

Department of Demons?

Has there ever been

anyone as clever as me?

Person, man, woman,

camera, TV!

Numb. 1133.1 Kiss My Asteroid

WaPo: These are the asteroids that scare scientists. Are we prepared for them? 

The asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs some 66 million years ago was a once-in-a-250,000-century event; Earth is nowhere near due for another. In fact, smaller space rocks — not species-killers, but still big enough to cause catastrophe — are the ones that really worry experts.

 

Woke Liberal drivel

like “climate change”
or rampant plastics
It's all the same
Covid’s a no bid

Dems are to blame
Darn Old’ll fix it

Stop being lame