Numb. 1595 What, GOP Worry? (plus 2nd edition)

                                                                                                                                        

Numb. 1374 

A COUPLET OF THOUGHTS  

A Market-Rattling Attempt to Make the American Economy Trump Always Wanted

The president dreams of factories reopened and towns revitalized by tariffs, but stocks plunged on fears economic growth will suffer - WSJ

Having become Heaven's Gaetz clone,

GOP's building its very own Jonestown.

If you are thinking,

“O, WTF!

This has to end."

Good night. And good luck.

You're out-of-touch, friend!

DON’T PANIC!

I’ve got this entirely in hand.

It’s working out just as I planned.

“Allies'” reserves are in U.S. dollars.

I render them worthless, they gotta borrow

crypto from me and (TRUE son) Elon

who, though South African,

like me — and God — is North European.

It’s fun having money, it’s fun to deploy it,

but when I destroy you I really enjoy it.

SNAP!

Do you recall when they stress tested banks

and said things were (mostly) okay.

With my Trumpocracy testing democracy,

I'd say things are going the opposite way.

TRUMP LEGAL DOCTRINE

‘LAW’ is a theory. As is ‘Evolution’.

Why does TRUMP need a ‘Constitution’?

Whatever I do and get away with

is, as I see it, perfectly legal.

A Kremlin envoy on Thursday praised the

Trump administration for hearing "Russia’s

position on many issues"... - New York Times

I am instructed to tell you directly from Vlad

belated thank you for support in Crimea.

Also must ask — I trust not in vain —

can you please help us conquer Ukraine?

Our forces, like yours, have lost the knack

of fighting folk who choose to fight back.

Our proposition: in Ukraine you lend us a hand

then, maybe, we help you seizing Greenland?

As maybe perhaps-be you already know,

we have expertise with ice and snow.

Numb. 1263 Do Not Want Ads

Unemployed Syrian torturer

if needed could be debaucherer

proficient in skills still in demand

could be trump card in the right hand

seeking safe place to emigrate

would prefer one-party state

————————————————————————————————

Soon to be freed political prisoner,

QAnon, MAGAthon, toxic FOX listener

cannot believe Donald's a liar

seeking position as climate denier

————————————————————————————————

Handsome,

ex-Congressman,

devastating debater

seeking job other

than busboy or waiter

willing to do

whatever comes next

will go on daetz 😉

pay teens for sex😛

————————————————————————————————

Retired desirable middle-aged model

Experienced listener to infantile twaddle

In SAD relationship with know-nothing know-it-all

No interest at present in anything coital

Numb. 1250 Survival Of The Numbest

Academic Danilo Brozović says studies of failed civilisations all point in one direction – today’s society needs radical transformation to survive — Guardian

If we contrive somehow to survive

catastrophes of our own making,

How many, I wonder, will be alive

to pick up whatever is left for the taking?

Will civilization crumble completely

and indoor plumbing be butt a memory?

Will we don hand-me-down animal skins

and wear hand hewn, stone-tooled accessories?

OR

will Donald and Elon provide a solution —

after rebooting the Constitution —

enabling thriving amidst destitution;

ignoring those who request restitution;

while unworldly Bernie rants, “Redistribution!";

drunk, Rudy grumbles, “Unjust persecution!";

and Matt Gaetz, as ever, pursues prostitution?

Will there, instead, be a revolution?

Is this the DEAD END of evolution?

Numb. 1224 Trump & RFK Jr Will Not Leave Us Breathless

Inedia (Latin for 'fasting') or breatharianism (/brɛˈθɛəriənɪzəm/ breth-AIR-ee-ən-iz-əm) is the claimed ability for a person to live without consuming food, and in some cases water. It is a pseudoscientific practice, and several adherents of these practices have died from starvation or dehydration. — Wikipedia

Coming next from Donald, RFK Jr, & Co.:

do away with all food.

(Also, maybe water?)

Imagine the savings to be accrued!

Plus no need for illegal crop pickers,

busboys, or food deliverers.

And there’d be a definitive end to E. coli food poisoning.

And we could empty reservoirs and use water for fracking.

(We’ll figure out later what to do about fires.)

If we don't need food,

then we don't need farmers

which will yield a surplus of farmer's daughters.

Their make-great-again savior? A.G. Matt Gaetz,

rescuing them from worse-than-death fates!

This is butt a few of the many ideas,

these geniuses provide us out of their rears.

Numb. 1128 Predicting The Future Is A Fool's Errand

THEREFORE …

    Let’s say the gods are caught napping and Donald Trump does not reclaim his presidency. Which, you might say, should not be possible since a return to the White House would constitute his third term, what with his having been unfairly and unjustly and corruptly and illegally and etc.ly deprived of his second by an international cabal (conceived, doubtless, in Kabul at behest by Larry the Kabbalah guy) and the unfair, unjust, corrupt, illegal, nasty, etc. Constitutional limit of two terms. (So unfair!) Whatever!

    Now where was I?

    Ah, yes.

    So then, having completely withdrawn from his business activities — you remember the stacks of documents he displayed as poof — er, proof — at the onset of his first term? (Best President ever? You remember?) Having left such things to Eric and DJ … Those initials? Is that why he chose JD Vance as his bumbling — er, running — mate? Of course Junior is, to give him his do — er due, easy on the bear grease, sonny — Donald John, Junior, so, perhaps JD is simply Donald John, Senior backwards. (Could it be Donald, Senile — er, Senior — is dyslexic? Would explain his recording golf score of 59 when he actually shoots 95. But I digress.)

    Where was I?

    Ah, yes. 

   Being “at liberty”, having time on his tiny idle hands — devil’s playground? Great showman (shaman?) that he is, why not take his shame — er, show — on the road?

    A revival of Damn Yankees with Donald as Applegate.  (“Damn Yankees” is what dirty foreigners call us and damned Yankee voters — due, sans doubt — to unfair, unjust, corrupt, illegal, nasty, low IQ, etc. foreign interference (again at behest of Larry the Kabbalah guy) in the election prevent the reincarnation of President T.)

    Matt Gaetz could be Joe Hardy. Mitch McConnell could play old Joe. Stormy Daniels would be perfect as Lola. Marjorie Taylor Greene as old Joe’s wife, Hag — er, Meg. 

    Granted, Donald’s demented elderly goldfish persona — what is it about Donald and gold? — not to mention his tendency to live off-script, would make an extended tour ... well ... problematic. But the annual NBC live musical — do they still do that? Could be done. (Live on tape for Mountain and Pacific. Two perfs being way, way, too, too much for Donald. And past Mitch’s bedtime.) If Trump is not up to it, I am sure the geniuses at 30 Rock who created The Apprentice and got us into this mess could AI-dub his performance.

    Of course, there would have to be rewrites. Applegate must be at the center, other roles reduced to bit (two bit?) parts. But, hey, that’s showbiz.