Numb. 1478 One Of King's Horses Bolted

CLIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES (7/19/2025)

GOOGLE AI Overview (edited for length)

• Main Headline: "TROMPE ESCHEWING SUGGESTION HE WAS NEVER PERFECTION" – This headline appears to be satirical, possibly referencing a prominent figure and the idea of avoiding accountability or admitting flaws.

• Sub-headlines:

• "Says Merdox Guilty Of Treason, Revokes Family's Citizenship, 'Send The Lot To Guantanamo'" – This exaggerates political rhetoric and suggests extreme measures against perceived enemies, potentially satirizing media moguls like Rupert Murdoch, given the similar-sounding name.

• "SEIZES WSJ/FOX/NEWS AMERICA" – This further ties into the potential satire of media control and power, referencing well-known media outlets.

• "'If I Made And Signed Pictures Of Chicks In The Nude, Wudda Had Bigger Beautiful Boobs'" – This line injects crude, self-deprecating humor, possibly poking fun at vanity or perceived injustices in public perception.

• Byline: "By SURINDAR ORDAI Special to The Now Dark Times.." – This fictional byline and publication name confirm the piece's satirical nature, as "The Now Dark Times" is not a recognized news organization.

Numb. 1369 THE TRUMP COALITION

misinformed Zionists

well-informed NAZIs

racists

fraudsters

“Christians” on Missions with misfiring pistons

crooks

Ayn Randy voyeurs hooked up with lawyers

neo-Confederate ethical idiots

America “onliests” who think “firsters” sissies

GOP TRAD-isolationists

male sex-offenders 

coked-up pretenders on weekend benders

homeschooling advocates

Aryan Nations

Boys Proud of what?

FOX watchers 

Limbaugh listeners

(yes, Rush is dead,

but he never said

anything new —

reruns of old shows

surely will do)

Dunning-Kruger losers

down-market malcontents

billionaire egoists with too many kids

QAnon crypto enthusiasts

porn-loving incels

AND

foil-capped others

where we are thwarted

(foil foils our seeing

what their chips recorded)

Numb. 1364

SECOND THOUGHTS, SECOND AMENDMENT

The Supreme Court on Wednesday

upheld the Biden administration’s

regulation of ghost guns....

Justices Samuel A. Alito and

Clarence Thomas dissented. - Washington Post

Alito and Thomas, sure hope they're “wanded" whenever they go to conference. 

Those billowy robes ... God only knows what kind of heat these dudes are packing?

THICK AS THIEVES

Teen member of Musk’s Doge staff provided tech support to cybercrime ring, records show

Edward Coristine, who is 19, is among members of Doge effort that has been given access to official networks - Guardian

Folks, don’t get upset. This is not how it looks.

Elon and me do not hire crooks.

My support for this kid is unconditional.

Like me, he may be a master criminal.

THE CHIEF'S PROBLEM

John Roberts has a Pius-like problem.

If he says “STOP!”, Trump will ignore him.

All he can do is hope and pray

either he dies or goes away.

BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING

Two Minutes of Hate ain't near enough

to demonstrate hatred for lib-er-al stuff.

Merde-dock’s FOX’s preview of heaven

feeds our need twenty-four/seven.

SEX

In mammals pairs of chromosomes match.

Except for the sex ones, the Y and the X.

X is symmetric, whole and intact.

Y, in effect, is a broken X.

Numb. 1320 But What'll I Do Tomorrow?

Trump says he will appoint himself chair of Kennedy Center

“At my direction, we are going to make the Kennedy Center in Washington D.C., GREAT AGAIN,” Trump wrote in a Truth Social post. - Guardian

I checked this with Elon and he said it’s okay,

so here we go: Donald Trump, Artist!

Composer-in-residence, playwright par excellence

and whatever else I decide is required.

With Elon pursuing the day-to-day stuff,

with it being too cold outdoors for gulf,

with Rupert not giving me my own show on FOX,

I have time to explore my artistic self.

To paint, to sculpt, to choreograph.

My artistic genius given free reign at last.

Just one small thing, before I commence ...

changing the name to

DONALD TRUMP SENT HER

Donald Trump Contemplating A Bust Of Donald Trump

Numb. 1281 Headlines

Democrats Rig Monday Weather

Keeping Trump People At Home

Though His Feet Never Get Cold,

Donald Moves Crowning Indoors

——————————

Kennedys Borrow Doc Brown's DeLorean

To Bring Ethel K. A Dose Of Mifepristone

——————————

Rather Than Pay To Rebuild LA,

Trump Will Return It To Mexico

    Reveals To FOX He's Seeking A Refund

——————————

Trump On Truth Social: “Bird Flew?

Okay! God And I Design 'em To Fly"

Freeland Running To Replace Trudeau;

In US Nobody Cares And No One Knows

——————————

Israel - Gaza Cease Fire Begins

——————————

Israel - Gaza Cease Fire Ends

——————————

And One Actual Headline

Elizabeth Warren Urges Trump To Beef Up Ethics Rules As Musk Takes Key Role — Guardian

The BYSTANDER responds:

Dear Ms. Lizzie, Trump - Ethics? Don't bother! We humbly suggest saving your breath.

As ever,

The Bystander

Numb. 1264 Why DOES Elon Keep Sending Me Email?

Surely someone smart as Elon

would realize anyone as woebegon

and decrepit as I will not respond

to repeated offers for magical heaters

or miracle gizmo electric bill beaters.

How can Elon reach for the stars,

think about building best cars on Mars,

mold Donald into the first of our tsars,

still find the time to fill my inbox

with offers for gadgetry he says really rocks?

Could these emails not be truly Elon’s?

Phishing scams from third world peons?

If Elon did send them he must have his reasons.

You just gotta trust a man for all seasons.

I'd better answer and do it fast.

These things sell quick, supplies will not last.

Credit card number and CVV,

expiry date, okay, yessiree.

Exceptional deals. FOX News agrees.

And to think Elon chose them expressly for me.

Numb. 1263 Do Not Want Ads

Unemployed Syrian torturer

if needed could be debaucherer

proficient in skills still in demand

could be trump card in the right hand

seeking safe place to emigrate

would prefer one-party state

————————————————————————————————

Soon to be freed political prisoner,

QAnon, MAGAthon, toxic FOX listener

cannot believe Donald's a liar

seeking position as climate denier

————————————————————————————————

Handsome,

ex-Congressman,

devastating debater

seeking job other

than busboy or waiter

willing to do

whatever comes next

will go on daetz 😉

pay teens for sex😛

————————————————————————————————

Retired desirable middle-aged model

Experienced listener to infantile twaddle

In SAD relationship with know-nothing know-it-all

No interest at present in anything coital

Numb. 1242: From Donald's Diary II

Do I need a pretext to seize New York Times
and turn it over to Murdoch?
Supine SUPREMES would have my back —
bowing to FOX, not heirs of Ochs.

Numb. 1228 Advise And Consent

I am okay with ignoring advice

from the Senate and everyone else.

I am content with my own consent,

whatever I want, the answer is yes.

If I wish, I can close Congress,

replace it with Fox & Friends,

disband Civil Service, remove a judge.

I have the means. I make the ends.

I am the Con in the Constitution.

Trump Triumphant, kowtow in awe.

You could call it Divine Retribution.

My second coming. I AM THE LAW!

Numb. 1183 Ah Hell, Not A Litany

NEXT STATION DAMNATION!

Fine-all destination.

End of the line for American nation.

Satan provides a standing ovation.

Hey, Evangelicals, here's your “salvation”.

It’s the effect that follows causation.

Did you expect an all-paid vacation?

You swim in a cesspool, this is cessation.

Following dictator Darn Old’s dictation,

disregarding his fornication,

in his presence enjoying elation?

Honest to G_d, WHAT IN TARNATION?

Unblinking, thinking, “It’s just titillation.”?

Watching FOX’s dis-illumination,

did you anticipate divine coronation?

Did not you, daily, send a donation

including phone and mailing location?

Means and ends demand correlation.

    .

                                     .

                                     .

I could go on, but craving truncation,

I'll finish now. You watch your hydration.