PRESENT TENTS, FUTURE OUTDOORS
Sell or buy Elon's AI?
Are robotaxis impractical?
Breakup with Donald?
Hamilton-Arnold?
Or was it cunning and tactical?
Did Elon replace blowhard know-not
with Afrikaner Tesla robot?
Think Merde-ox-FOX notices
a change in POTUSes?
GOP passes Rand-ayn swill.
Can FEMA remnants rebuild anthill?
Will we survive?
At best, perhaps.
Probable outcome:
see r/collapse.
WHITE HOUSE STATEMENT
I swear — on my honor — I never met … Elon?
All of those photos are fakes.
As is the “news” that I bought a “Tesla”.
(Which I did not drive ’case he fiddled the brakes.)
Like all those women who say I abused them,
not one of witch I ever met,
this Elon (?) guy — drug user, loser.
(Though I gotta admit, he gets dynamite ket.)
And though convicted, despite what they're tellin' ya,
when I grab some pussy, it isn't a felony.
Numb. 1379
If I turn my brain into AI,
I can be president after I die.
Imagine the savings. Ending elections.
No one undoes my prodigious perfections.
I will be president for all afterlife
freeing U.S. from political strife.
And here’s the part I bigly do love,
I’ll also be God in heaven above.
PUTTIN' IT ALL IN PERSPECTIVE
2025 Estimate U.S. Population (including undocumented residents): 350 million
December 2024 Elon Musk Net Worth: $400 billion
2025 Approximate Retail Price Model Y Tesla (less tax, title, destination charges, dealer prep): $100,000
2024 Annual Cost For Food U.S. Per Person: $2,500
2025 Price Of Big Mac (less tax): $5.29
TRUMP 3-DAY TARIFF MARKET DECLINE: $6 trillion
T3DTMD Per Person: $17,143 (or 6+ years of three squares a day)
T3DTMD In 2025 Model Y Teslas: 60 million vehicles
T3DTMD In December 2024 Elons: 15
T3DTMD In Terms Even Trump Gets, WELL OVER ONE TRILLION McDONALD'S BIG MACS
Surely someone smart as Elon
would realize anyone as woebegon
and decrepit as I will not respond
to repeated offers for magical heaters
or miracle gizmo electric bill beaters.
How can Elon reach for the stars,
think about building best cars on Mars,
mold Donald into the first of our tsars,
still find the time to fill my inbox
with offers for gadgetry he says really rocks?
Could these emails not be truly Elon’s?
Phishing scams from third world peons?
If Elon did send them he must have his reasons.
You just gotta trust a man for all seasons.
I'd better answer and do it fast.
These things sell quick, supplies will not last.
Credit card number and CVV,
expiry date, okay, yessiree.
Exceptional deals. FOX News agrees.
And to think Elon chose them expressly for me.
One person was dead and at least seven people were injured after a Tesla Cybertruck exploded and caught fire outside of the Trump International Hotel in Las Vegas on Wednesday morning, according to the authorities. — New York Times
no matter how “righteous” your cause.
That is NOT to say we endorse silence
OR the enforcement of repressive laws.
We recall fondly Mahatma Gandhi.
Though he failed, he tried preaching peace
to people unwilling who preferred killing.
Compromise being beyond human reach.
The cumulative failure of each revolution,
suggests our extinction’s the ONLY solution.
