Numb. 1131 Fragment From A Lost Travesty

er, TRAGED-Y

WASHINGTON (AP) Updated 1:07 PM EDT, August 28, 2024 — Special counsel Jack Smith is pressing forward with his 2020 election inference case against Donald Trump, with a new indictment that aims to salvage the prosecution after the Supreme Court slammed the door on the possibility of a trial before the November election.

 

RNC CHORUS

Shout Hallelujah, bust out in song.
Darn Old's Supremes must right this wrong.
Darn Old commands it! (Just go along.)
Shout Hallelujah, bust out in song.

JD

OUR Savior must be protected.

LINSEED

So he can be resurrected.

JD

He CANNOT lose to that bitch ... female.

LINSEED

Quick, stop the steal. He must prevail.

RNC CHORUS, JD, LINSEED

Sweet Jesus, please! He CAN’T land in jail!

DARN OLD

(ex FOXina)

LEGAL votes only in this election,
will assure my pluperfect perfection.
Granted advance Supreme absolution,

I will ignore the Constitution.
Free, at long last, to do as I please,
I can replace that SAD loser Jesus.
(Tried? Crucified? Before being raptured?
Me, I prefer guys NEVER captured.)

RNC CHORUS, JD, LINSEED

Shout Hallelujah, bust out in song.
More comely than Kammy, stronger than Kong,
Our god, Darn Old, can do no wrong.

Shout Hallelujah, bust out in song.

Numb. 1130 Trumps ADD Up

Darn Old suffers from ADD:

Adult Delinquent Disorder.

Symptoms apparent for all to see.

In him. In two sons. And one daughter.

Darn Younger shares his mentality —

loves killing anything greater than he.

Eric, forever son #2,

should, perhaps, have been left in the loo.

And Princess Ivanka. What's to be said?

If she changed sex, she’d be her dad.

(Not sure ‘bout the young ‘uns — too soon to tell

if they will join dreary daddy in hell.)

THE Poster Family for moral disease.

If they’re elected, stock up on Febreze.

Numb. 1129 Dear GOP

Please explain why your Darn Old guy

hooked up with two Commie ladies.

(And in between — not to be wry —

a Confederate “met” in the eighties?)

Of course it's a plot. Hot honey pots

maneuvered to weaken our nation!

If you reply, “No, they did not!”,

I say your brain’s on vacation.

Repeatedly marrying obvious spies

cannot be seen as just chance.

Levers were pulled, how otherwise?

It must have been planned in advance!

You want the scoop? Here is your proof:

Darn Old calls his platform SOCIALIST TRUTH!

Numb. 1128 Predicting The Future Is A Fool's Errand

THEREFORE …

    Let’s say the gods are caught napping and Donald Trump does not reclaim his presidency. Which, you might say, should not be possible since a return to the White House would constitute his third term, what with his having been unfairly and unjustly and corruptly and illegally and etc.ly deprived of his second by an international cabal (conceived, doubtless, in Kabul at behest by Larry the Kabbalah guy) and the unfair, unjust, corrupt, illegal, nasty, etc. Constitutional limit of two terms. (So unfair!) Whatever!

    Now where was I?

    Ah, yes.

    So then, having completely withdrawn from his business activities — you remember the stacks of documents he displayed as poof — er, proof — at the onset of his first term? (Best President ever? You remember?) Having left such things to Eric and DJ … Those initials? Is that why he chose JD Vance as his bumbling — er, running — mate? Of course Junior is, to give him his do — er due, easy on the bear grease, sonny — Donald John, Junior, so, perhaps JD is simply Donald John, Senior backwards. (Could it be Donald, Senile — er, Senior — is dyslexic? Would explain his recording golf score of 59 when he actually shoots 95. But I digress.)

    Where was I?

    Ah, yes. 

   Being “at liberty”, having time on his tiny idle hands — devil’s playground? Great showman (shaman?) that he is, why not take his shame — er, show — on the road?

    A revival of Damn Yankees with Donald as Applegate.  (“Damn Yankees” is what dirty foreigners call us and damned Yankee voters — due, sans doubt — to unfair, unjust, corrupt, illegal, nasty, low IQ, etc. foreign interference (again at behest of Larry the Kabbalah guy) in the election prevent the reincarnation of President T.)

    Matt Gaetz could be Joe Hardy. Mitch McConnell could play old Joe. Stormy Daniels would be perfect as Lola. Marjorie Taylor Greene as old Joe’s wife, Hag — er, Meg. 

    Granted, Donald’s demented elderly goldfish persona — what is it about Donald and gold? — not to mention his tendency to live off-script, would make an extended tour ... well ... problematic. But the annual NBC live musical — do they still do that? Could be done. (Live on tape for Mountain and Pacific. Two perfs being way, way, too, too much for Donald. And past Mitch’s bedtime.) If Trump is not up to it, I am sure the geniuses at 30 Rock who created The Apprentice and got us into this mess could AI-dub his performance.

    Of course, there would have to be rewrites. Applegate must be at the center, other roles reduced to bit (two bit?) parts. But, hey, that’s showbiz.

Numb. 1127 Email From The Beyond

TO: Donald John Trump

FROM: Roy Marcus Cohn, Esq, (disbarred)

SUBJECT: ’Sup, Bro?

Ask not, dear Don, “Where's my Roy Cohn?”

I'm dead, Don, cozy in hell.

But remember, I SCHOOLED YOU WELL!

Teaching you to lie and complain?

Shit reprised sounds somehow true?

So says Doc Goebbels — one of the noble-est

thinkers the world ever knew.

Back in the day he'd have me done away with.

In hell today, guess who I stay with?

We agree globally. Blood brothers are we!

We're working together —

birds ... feathers ... whatever —

improving the hell out of Hades.

Greatest hell ever, hell bent for weather,

upgrading it for us sadists.

But we need a hero. 

Caligula? Nero?

(Guy here is strictly third rate.)

Unsavory behavior 

without ever wavering

suggests you're our savior. 

You're great!

Satan without

a detectable defect.

Demonically speaking,

impurely perfect.

A rotund boll weevil,

best-in-class evil.

Light on your feet. 

(For your weight.)

On the attack? SS Waffen black? 

Trimmed with fool's gold?

Enthralling!

Playing the crowd? Incredibly loud? 

Soul long gone, sold?

It's your calling!

Your persecution 

demands retribution. 

Unfair, unfair. So unfair.

Forget Constitution. 

Commence executions. 

The storm is coming

DOC AND I WILL BE THERE!

Whoever you say treated you nasty,

we'll punish swiftly. Bigly and vastly.

Dear Don, come down. 

Dear Don, come home. 

Dear Don, come claim 

your crown and your throne.

Hell's bells, dear Don.

Dis donc, dear Don,

ding-dong, dear Don, 

dear Don.

Love,

Roy

P.S. On a personal note:

What's his name — Vance?

I was just wondering,

what's in his pants?

🖤

R.M.C.

P.P.S. 

Invoice to follow under separate cover.

R. Esq.